One Reason I’m Lighting Hanukkah Candles Again This Year

The following article appeared in The Philadelphia Inquirer in 2011 and I’m reprinting it here:

This Hanukkah, I’m lighting the candles in memory of Prisoner A-1175. Her name was Marta Paran and that was the number tattooed into her arm at Auschwitz.

There are approximately 125,000 Holocaust survivors left in America and it is estimated that 35 die each day. When Marta recently died at age 88, I realized that time is running out. I wanted to tell her story to as many people as I could. Some people deny the Holocaust even happened. Others say they’ve seen enough movies and books to know what happened. But when the story is told by someone you know, it changes your sense of history. So here’s one more.

When the Nazis invaded the small town in Hungary where she was born and raised, Marta was 21. It was Passover, 1944. All the Jews in her town were loaded in cattle cars headed for Auschwitz. There were fires all around and chimneys and it was very bright. She felt like she had arrived in hell.

Her 17-year-old brother passed the first selektia. She saw him a few days afterwards but she never saw him again. Her father was 60 and her mother was 54. They were immediately gassed.

Marta and the other women who made it past the first selektia were undressed, their heads shaved. Bald and naked, nobody knew who anyone else was. The women took showers and the guards threw them dresses. The dress Marta received was from another prisoner, a black dress with gray flowers. It looked like a grandmother’s dress.

Then she stood in line and a woman used a pen and tattooed a number on her arm, A-1175.

“That’s terrible,” I said, looking down at the crude, bluish-black number.

She shook her head. “Compared to everything else, it was nothing,” she said. “It meant that they thought I was strong enough to work. And I was still alive.”

She lived in the C Lager. It was one long street with 30 barracks. One thousand women to a barrack, 12 women to a wooden bed. One time they were locked in the barrack and they heard trucks coming to another barrack where there was a group of women from Czechoslovakia. She heard the Nazis shouting “shnell, shnell,” and then crying. The next day, Marta had to clean out their barracks. She saw drawings of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on the walls. She never spoke about those drawings to anyone and thought that maybe she had dreamed it. But years later, she read a book by a woman who had been there and she said that she had drawn those pictures for the kids. Marta never cried for her parents or brother the whole time she was there. But she cried for the Czech women and children because she knew where they were going.

After the War, Marta joined a group of young people who’d also survived and headed for what would soon become Israel. One of the members of her group was her future husband. They settled in a farming village in northern Israel where Marta worked in the fields growing beets, tomatoes, cucumbers. She raised three sons and eventually had 10 grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. She used to look around at all her family photographs in her living room and tell us, “This is my revenge against Hitler.”

When my youngest daughter and I went to pay a condolence call at Marta’s oldest son’s home, he told us that he knew very little about his mother’s life. She had made a pact with her husband never to speak about the Holocaust. She longed to forget but I understand now that it is up to me to remember. I’m celebrating the festival of lights this year by remembering someone who survived the darkness and managed to keep alive a very small flame.

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About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is a writer living in northern Israel whose novel, A Remarkable Kindness, is forthcoming from HarperCollins in August. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, and other publications. Her first book, The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker) was nominated for a National Jewish Book Award.
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9 Responses to One Reason I’m Lighting Hanukkah Candles Again This Year

  1. juliabarrett says:

    Holocaust survivors I’ve known try hard not to speak of it. To remember is to relive the horror. But I suspect trying to lock those memories away gives them more power. Which may be why some survivors commit suicide.
    Beautiful tribute.

    • dianabletter says:

      Yes, Julia, you are right. I have another friend who was a Holocaust survivor who did commit suicide – on Holocaust Remembrance Day…Thank you for writing.

  2. Marta’s story is poignant and very powerful, Diana. Her survival and her well-lived life with children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are, indeed, her revenge against Hitler as well as an enduring tribute to her parents, brother, and all those lost in the Holocaust.
    Have you read Jodi Picoult’s THE STORY TELLER? Her interviews became a novel that deals, in part, with a young SS guard, who now seeks forgiveness and assistance from a victim so he can end his own life.

    • dianabletter says:

      Hi Marylin,
      I never read Jodi Picoult’s book and I will definitely get it. Thank you for sharing that. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving.

  3. I can’t begin to imagine the horrors. I remember my father-in-law telling us he went through a camp in WWII. A kind, sensitive man he said that was the worst part of the war for him. THanks for posting this, Diana.

  4. Diana, the holocaust was such a horrible, evil event. I can’t imagine going through anything like that. It makes me realize I need to stop gripping about nothing. Your portrayal of Marta brought tears to my eyes.

  5. P.S. Glad you’re lighting the candles.
    Wishing you a blessed Hanukkah. 🙂

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