Mother’s Day: More Tried-And-True Tips and Tools

“Stop whining!” I heard a mother tell her daughter the other day.

Well, that’s a start. But a child is trying to say something and doesn’t know how to express herself. Telling her to stop whining might shut her up for a few minutes. But that doesn’t help the girl figure out how to get what she needs. So here’s the next simple tip:

Substitute.

Instead of saying, “Stop whining,” say: “Talk like a big girl.”

Mothers can then educate their children to speak appropriately. A Mom can get her kids to stop whining. Being a parent means guiding your child and giving her the communication skills she needs. It’s really simple. It really works. “Talk like a big boy” is just as effective, obviously.

And one more tip for making motherhood smoother…Children are good inside. They are. They are always good. Sometimes they mess up, however. It’s better for mothers to say, “What a big boy!” rather than “What a good boy!” Mothers and fathers want their children to mature, to be healthy and responsible. Encourage that. “You put your toys away so nicely. You’re such a big girl!”

How do we develop shame? By being told when we’re little and do something wrong that we’re bad. We are never bad. We are fundamentally good. We just mess up sometimes. And you want your kids to feel the same way.

For Mother’s Day, give the Mom’s you know these simple tools now in book form! And remember to order your copy of The Mom Who Took Off On Her Motorcycle wherever fine books are sold! Here are a few places:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mom-Took-Motorcycle-ebook/dp/B00B8SJMU2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1364113887&sr=8-2&keywords=diana+bletter

Barnes & Noblehttp://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-mom-who-took-off-on-her-motorcycle-diana-bletter/1114769393?ean=2940044331181

KOBO BOOKS:  www.kobobooks.com/ebook/The-Mom-Who-Took-Off/book-lDD-E4TT70axGXcz9Fmorw/page1.html?s=Wa5VLzCZsESOnoau_tNlmg&r=1

APPLE IBOOKSTORE:

https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/mom-who-took-off-on-her-motorcycle/id609277209?mt=11

And while it’s still for free, don’t forget to download and send my book, Get Your Kids Under Control and Get Your Life Back, here:

http://www.amazon.com/Your-Kids-Under-Control-ebook/dp/B00CMLAOPG/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1368081981&sr=1-3&keywords=diana+bletter

Remember: Don’t just tell a kid to stop doing something. Tell them what to do instead.

Advertisements

About dianabletter

Diana Bletter is a writer living in northern Israel whose novel, A Remarkable Kindness, is forthcoming from HarperCollins in August. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Commentary, tabletmag, and other publications. Her first book, The Invisible Thread: A Portrait of Jewish American Women (with photographs by Lori Grinker) was nominated for a National Jewish Book Award.
This entry was posted in How to Change Your Life, Transformation and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Mother’s Day: More Tried-And-True Tips and Tools

  1. Hi Diana,
    Our parenting skills are on the same page. I always said, “what you did was not good,” instead of “You’re a bad girl/boy.” We have enough negativity in the world so our homes should be a haven. 🙂

    • dianabletter says:

      That is so true, Tracy. Our homes need to be safe houses for everyone living in them. I never agreed with the notion that kids can get “swelled heads” if given too many compliments and positive words. Thanks for sharing!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s