Top 11 Jewish Quotes for Writers: What Kept Me Writing My Novel, “A Remarkable Kindness”

Pen, paper and a cup of coffee--that's all you need!

Pen, paper and a cup of coffee–that’s all you need!

This post appeared on the Jewish Book Council website and I wanted to share it for all of you who are looking for some inspiring words about writing our best chapter–and living it. I turned to these quotes while writing A Remarkable Kindness. Actually, I turned to these quotes when I was not writing the novel…when I felt stuck. Here it is:

I treat my office like a high school hallway. All over my walls are inspirational quotes to keep me going. Writing is a lonely task: it’s being the Sisyphus of sentences. Every now and then, I pretend to invite imaginary cheerleaders (including my best friend’s daughter) to my office before I sit down to write, with them cheering, “You can do it! Go… WRITE!”

What follows are the top thirteen inspirational Jewish quotes I turn to when I feel like I’ve fallen down that deep, dark chute of writing nothingness.

“In knowing who you are and writing from it, you will help the world by giving it understanding.” — Natalie Goldberg

“Surprising things can happen when you start to pray…” — Jacqueline Osherow

“Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, Grow, grow.” — The Talmud

“Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.” — Baruch Spinoza

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” — Albert Einstein

“Two strides across, the rest is dark…Life is a fleeting question mark…” — Hannah Senesh

“You become a writer because you need to become a writer. Nothing else.” — Grace Paley

“Take your life into your own hands…” — Erica Jong

“Pessimism is a luxury that a Jew can never allow himself.” — Golda Meir

“Had I not fallen, I would not have arisen. Had I not been subject to darkness, I could not have seen the light.” — Midrash

“If we survived Pharoah, we’ll survive this.” — Meir Arieli

What’s the message? We can–we must–live our own lives as best as we can. The writing blooms the more we live.

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Yom Kippur Lessons from My Quirky Jewish Mother

Here’s an article that I wanted to post for those of you who don’t see my FB page from

Yom Kippur Lessons from My Quirky Jewish Mother

My mother died on the morning right before Yom Kippur two years ago, and my sister and I were not at all surprised. Irreverent, quirky, and eccentric, my mother always kvetched about Yom Kippur and would have done anything to miss it. Dying right before the fast day, the holiest day of the Jewish year, meant my mother was up to her old tricks until the very end.

It wasn’t because she was anti-Jewish; she was fiercely Jewish, but she’d made up her own brand of Judaism. She always said that Jews should never apologize to God: God should apologize to the Jews. On Yom Kippur, instead of following a traditional fast, she sat at the kitchen table all day as if on guard, manning the telephone, reading the newspaper, and watching the news on TV in case something bad happened, primarily to her people. A first-generation American, she rebelled against her Polish-born mother’s traditions because she viewed them as a blend of superstitions and limitations. Yet she was still was my best teacher when it came to understanding what being a Jew was all about. To my sister, Cynthia, and me, she passed on an enormous sense of pride. Freud was Jewish! Ralph Lauren was Jewish! All the really talented people on “Saturday Night Live were Jewish!


On Sunday mornings, armed with a cup of her strong, black coffee from her Corning Ware percolator that seemed about as ancient as the Dead Sea Scrolls, a sesame bagel with the insides pulled out and a cigarette burning, she’d comb the Style Section of The New York Times, studying the names and faces in every wedding announcement, making her own calculations. She counted how many Jews she thought were lost (if the couple was married by an officiating minister), who was gained (if there was only a rabbi) or if it was a tie (both a minister and a rabbi or a judge).

When Yom Kippur rolled around each autumn, her anger at God was re-ignited. On a macro scale, God let Hitler get away with the Holocaust; on a micro level, God caused her father to die of a heart attack when she was five, forcing my grandmother to raise five children on her own in the Bronx. Despite her outrage, my mother still trooped into the kitchen and followed my grandmother’s recipes for brisket, stuffed cabbage, matzah ball soup with matzah balls so light they defied gravity, and kasha varnishes. But she cooked while doing a dozen other things, so Cynthia and I held contests each holiday about who found the oddest item in her dishes: besides the usual stray hairs, we discovered cigarette ashes, a fake fingernail and a rubber band.

My mother claimed her belonging to a people who had lost so much to the world and who, despite it all, gave so much back to the world. She was convinced that a Jew’s inheritance was the task of setting things right, and took Cynthia and me out of school to attend demonstrations and marches for civil rights and liberal causes. There’s a Jewish saying, “if you save one life, you save the world,” and my mother taught me that with just your own life, you can try to at least improve something.

With her pulse on Jewish American culture, she offered her scathing critiques to anyone who happened to be within the circumference of her cigarette smoke. She railed against the stereotypes of the Jewish Mother and the Jewish American Princess because she sensed, far earlier than most social commentators, that these caricatures of Jewish women would push Jewish men away from Jewish women. Intermarriage statistics proved her right. That Jewish men laughed at Jewish women, distancing themselves, outraged her: she taught me that words have power.

READ: The Jewish Take on Donating Organs & Why My Dad’s Death Is a Gift

She wasn’t too thrilled (to put it mildly) when I picked up and moved from New York to Israel, leaving her behind, even though she was the one who sent me to Israel when I was 16 in the first place. She ranted each time she called me, but she still paid for my four kids and me to fly back to visit her each summer. What was the lesson? You can—you must—rail against what is bashert, or fated for you, and then you have to do whatever you can to make things better.

The last conversation I had with her was right before she slipped into unconsciousness, the night before I flew back to New York to be with her. Cynthia—who took care of her better than the best of caretakers in her house—had set up Skype for her and I got to see her in her favorite armchair, the whirl of her oxygen machine stopping only so that she could smoke another cigarette. “I love you and I’ll always love you,” she told me into the camera. Then she shouted, “Cynthia! How do I shut this damn thing off?”

Rain pounded the roof, lightning flashed, and the thunder was louder than fireworks the night she died. It was the perfect theatrical exit for my subversive mother. In the morning, after her soul left for who-knows-where, after the rains moved on, and the sky went back to empty and blue, a rabbi came to the house to make funeral arrangements. He stood at the foot of her bed, talking quietly to Cynthia and me. I said politely to the rabbi, “I don’t think my mother would have wanted you seeing her when she’s dead.” And then I heard my mother’s voice, and I could have sworn I heard her grumbling, I didn’t want to see him when I was alive.

So, nu, as she would have said, she didn’t instill in me how to be a Jew in the conventional way. She didn’t teach me how to believe, but she taught me how to question. And is there anything more Jewish than that?


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Mark Zuckerberg: On Rosh Hashanah And Finding the Courage to Make Our Lives a Blessing


Mark Zuckerberg sent out an inspiring message right before Rosh Hashanah, which is the start of the Jewish New Year. “The prayer, ‘Mi Shebeirach’…has a line that has always touched me and that I reflect on when I face challenges: ‘Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing.’”

Zuckerberg added, “I hope you all have a wonderful year ahead and that you find the courage to make a positive and meaningful change in the world this year.”

Sometimes a positive and meaningful change might just occur inside us. I’m thinking now of my friend, Lily, who was complaining to her sister about the way another friend, Nicole, treated her during a visit.

“Well, maybe Nicole was concerned about her health,” Lily’s sister, Julia, said. “Maybe she was thinking about other things.”

“Yeah, right,” Lily grumbled. She confided to me that she had dismissed Julia’s generous judgement up until this Rosh Hashanah. From now until Yom Kippur, which begins on Tuesday, September 22, the gates of heaven are open. God is judging us and our actions. And I read somewhere that God acts as our mirror. If we are harsh with others, then God is harsh with us. If we are kind to others, God is kind to us.

The idea of being generous in our judgement is my mandate for the coming year. I thought about it again because I just had a conversation with a guy whom I’d met back in 2013. I didn’t really like him then—he seemed sullen, withdrawn, and unfriendly. But the other night, he told me, “The year 2013 was the worst year for me. My wife and I had two car accidents. Our baby was born with health issues. And then my father died in November 2013.”

I met the guy in December of that year—just after his father had died! I didn’t know about his father’s death, but if I had, I would have been able to be generous in my judgments. I’m sorry that I was so quick to reach a negative conclusion when I could have given him the benefit of the doubt. What a powerful lesson for me.

We can make this day part of our best chapter by adding generosity to our judgments of others. What better way to pass on a remarkable kindness? We can do our share to make our lives more meaningful just by changing our thoughts. And that’s the start for changing the world. Our world. Our lives. One moment at a time.

Mark Zuckerberg’s FB post is here. A beautiful article on Yom Kippur at Sea by Sam Kestenbaum is here.

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How to Write About Mr. Right–And Mr. Wrong

Happy-Kiss-Day-ImagesWhat do you do when you are asked to write for a specific magazine, newspaper or website? Or when you set a goal to writing for a new venue?

Follow the form. That means that you have to follow the style of the publication.

I had this challenge when asked to write for Fresh Fiction Blog. First, I read through the site, which features a lot of romance novels. Not exactly my style, but I thought, hey, why not? So I wrote an essay about writing about Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong.

Our style is uniquely our own, of course. I am not saying to write like someone else. But I am saying that if we want to get published in a specific place, we need to match that style. It is like following a dress code. We wouldn’t wear a prom dress to compete on “Survivor.”

So here’s the essay from Fresh Fiction:

My novel, A REMARKABLE KINDNESS, tells the intertwined love stories of four American women who, for various reasons, all wind up in a small beach village in Northern Israel. I knew that this faraway, rugged place would be the perfect setting for this novel which explores completely unpredictable loves romance and passion.

There’s nothing like a good romance to get your heart beating really fast. In real life as well as in books, who can resist a love story? I especially like love stories in which two people who are not meant to be together overcome all odds and follow their secret dreams— and their passion.

In fact, each of the four unique women in A REMARKABLE KINDNESS finds an interesting twist on Mr. Right. Emily, for example, is an artist from Charleston, West Virginia, who lands in Israel after her first husband dumps her for a “thinner woman with legs like stilts.” After a time, she falls in love with someone who is Romeo to her Juliet. Not only are their families at war; in Emily’s case, she and her true love are from different sides of a serious conflict. This would make for great fiction! As Emily confides in her best friend, Lauren, “What happens if Mr. Wrong really is Mr. Right?”

I decided to give her best friend, Lauren, a different challenge. She’s a maternity nurse who fell in love with the perfect guy—a doctor. The catch for Mr. Right? He wants to move back to the Israeli village where he grew up and Lauren is a diehard Bostonian. Lauren is faced with a tricky dilemma: how far do we move for someone we love? Should we step out of our safety zone and travel halfway around the world? How far would you go? How much would you sacrifice? These are important questions I wanted to write about.

To prepare for writing my novel, I re-read two favorite romance novels of all time: Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre. No matter how many times I’ve read both books, I still feel on edge with suspense leading up to when Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy finally confess their love for each other. And I can’t sit still until Mr. Rochester declares his unbridled passion for Jane Eyre. . .

Part of what makes reading about love so special is because we become so involved with the story, we just can’t wait another moment for it to resolve itself. Well, writing is the same way! While writing the love story of Rachel, a recent college graduate, I found she was hesitant about falling head over heels with a very special young Mr. Right. As the author, I wanted her to speed things up a bit. But I’ve learned that characters (like our friends, husbands, parents or children!) need to move at their own pace.

Writing is like passion. It is about letting go. . . And the best part of writing this novel is the startling moments when the characters became so real that they ended up doing things that even surprised me!

P.S. Reviews for A REMARKABLE KINDNESS have been great. If you’d like me to speak via Skype to your book club, please let me know.

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A Remarkable Kindness Book Tour And Finishing that First Novel

In the Darien, CT Library, August 20, 2015

In the Darien, CT Library, August 20, 2015

We have lots of news to report as A REMARKABLE KINDNESS hit the stores and online booksellers on August 11. I am posting my blog tour below where bloggers write about the book and even offer recipes to go with it. So far the reviews have been fabulous! As I am learning, writing (and reading) is about making a connection, transcending our differences, and finding common ground. Here are a few excerpts:

“This book is so wonderfully character-driven and I was caught up in decisions and emotions and friendships and casual interactions with secondary characters. Long before the book ended, I was fully invested and wanted the very best for each woman/family. I recommend A Remarkable Kindness by Diana Bletter for readers that enjoy women’s fiction and readers that enjoy learning about cultures other than their own. This would make a great beach or pool read.” Into the Hall of Books

“Overall, A Remarkable Kindness was an interesting, enlightening glimpse into women’s lives in a very different, sometimes dangerous culture. ” Becca Rowan

“…The end brought closure and I was left with a smile and, admittedly, a few tears. A Remarkable Kindness will appeal to anyone who enjoys well-written women’s fiction, Jewish culture and tradition, and stories about friendship and life.” — Kahakai Kitchen

Tabbouleh salad with A REMARKABLE KINDNESS

Tabbouleh salad with A REMARKABLE KINDNESS

“The book will bring out a lot of emotions in you. I felt sorry for these women at times, but I also felt anger and admiration. The story and the women are very well written. I loved that they bonded over a circle of life ritual and I also loved learning  a bit about Israel…I’m not really a fan of this genre, but the synopsis grabbed my attention and I’m very glad I didn’t pass it up.” Vicki, I’d Rather Be At the Beach

More to follow in the next few days:

o   Monday, August 24thRaven Haired Girl

o   Tuesday, August 25thSvetlana’s Reads and Views

o   Wednesday, August 26thJulzReads

o   Thursday, August 27thBibliotica

For those of you who are writing, keep working…Show your work to people you trust and if they make suggestions about how to improve your text, take the suggestions. I know, I know…we want the first draft to be perfect. But it rarely is…

We have to go back and delete scenes, add some, put aside others for the next book. We have to put in a lot of time and patience and energy when we work. Remember what my husband Jonny says: Anyone can give up, but if you give up, you will never forgive yourself. Keep writing, if that is what you want to do. Keep doing whatever gives you joy. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy this moment. It is one page in the best chapter of your life.

For those of you near Connecticut, I will be at the WILTON LIBRARY on August 26, at 7 PM, and at R J JULIA BOOKSELLERS on August 27. Hope to see you there!

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Writers, Don’t Give Up. Come to Think of it, This Applies to Everyone.

ark-coverNo matter how long it takes, no matter how many computers you break, feel like you’re not going to make it, that you’re a fake, that your writing is a mistake, and you want to go jump in a lake, DO NOT GIVE UP.

My novel (for the three or four of you who haven’t heard) was published this week by HarperCollins. It’s called A REMARKABLE KINDNESS. I call it a remarkable miracle.

Keep writing, keep dreaming, keep hoping. Here’s my post on Amy Sue Nathan’s wonderful blog on writing, making up words, and the most important thing, living our best chapter.

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I was trying to capture the Mediterranean Sea today, which looked exactly like the cover of A REMARKABLE KINDNESS.

I was trying to capture the Mediterranean Sea today, which looked exactly like the cover of A REMARKABLE KINDNESS.

“Sometimes you don’t need to do anything really courageous to feel like a hero. Sometimes all you have to do is live your life and claim it. Then you can get to a certain moment when you can stand somewhere and think about where you’ve been and where you are now and the journey you’ve traveled to get there. Sometimes, that’s all you need to do.”

I wrote the above quote a few years ago and I want to share it now. Remember we are all heroes of our own lives. Sometimes the journey is frightening and dark but it’s our only life right now that we need to live, and we have to claim it.

Many times I wanted to quit writing. I felt discouraged and thought it was a hopeless endeavor. But my husband, Jonny, always told me: “Anyone can give up. Giving up is easy. But if you give up, you will never forgive yourself.”

And he was right. I didn’t give up. Now I get to celebrate and I hope the fact that I am publishing my first novel at age 58 will remind you: persevere, write, work, dance, try and try and try and just do NOT give up.

The real cover. I just love it!

The real cover. I just love it!

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If You Haven’t Heard: HarperCollins Release of A REMARKABLE KINDNESS on August 11, 2015

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For those of you who didn’t see my email, I’m delighted to announce that HarperCollins will publish my first novel, A REMARKABLE KINDNESS, on August 11. Perserverance pays off!
A REMARKABLE KINDNESS is the story of four American women who are members of a burial circle in a small beach village in Northern Israel. The women forge a friendship that sustains them as they come to terms with love and loss, and the outbreak of war. Their intimate bond is strengthened by their participation in a burial circle, a traditional ritual that closes the circle of life. As their lives are slowly transformed, each woman finds unexpected strength and resilience.
 Advance Praise Reviews:
A Remarkable Kindness is a story about the bonds of friendship and family; how they are made, broken, and come full circle. Diana Bletter writes with such lush and insightful prose that a foreign landscape and culture becomes warm and familiar; exploring the power of friendship, love, and ancient traditions, the novel makes you wonder just how far you would go (literally and figuratively) for the people you love.”
— Amy Sue Nathan,
author of The Good Neighbor and The Glass Wives

“Bletter brings this quartet of complex, gutsy, smart, passionate women to life with rare delicacy and depth.”
— Janice Steinberg, author of The Tin Horse

A REMARKABLE KINDNESS will be featured in HUDSON NEWS bookstores in airports around the USA and Canada during their fall promotion.
If you’re white-knuckling it until you can read the novel, it helps if you pre-order. Other readers as well as the media pay attention to pre-orders, so your pre-order does help A REMARKABLE KINDNESS reach a wider audience.
You can find the novel here:

I’ll be speaking at the following venues if you’re in the New York/Connecticut area in August:
Thursday, August 13 (Book Launch)
7 Library Avenue
Westhampton Beach, NY  11978
6:30 PM
Thursday, August 20
1441 Post Road
Darien, CT  06820
Wednesday, August 26
137 Old Ridgefield Road
Wilton, CT  06897
Thursday, August 27
768 Boston Post Road
Madison, CT  06443
Thursday, August 28
Temple Beth Tikvah
196 Durham Road
Madison, Connecticut 06443
7:15 pm (during services)

The book will also be sold in Steimatsky bookstores in Israel.
Thanks to all of you who believed that I could (eventually) make it happen.
 For review copies, questions, please contact:
 Joanne Minutillo / Associate Publicist / 212.207.7224 /

Thought of the day: We can do one positive thing for ourselves today to make this day part of our best chapter.

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How to Sell Your Novel. First Write An Exthrillerating One. Here are 8 Important Tips and Exercises.

Stephen-Kings-Reading-ListYay! It’s less than one month away: the HarperCollins release of my novel, A Remarkable Kindness. I sold my novel and I believe that if it can happen to me, it can happen to you. What follows are some tips on how to write a novel that sells.

1. Keep dialogue flowing. Dialogue in good books is never, “How are you?” “Fine thank you. How are you?” “What’s new?” Blah-blah-blah. Literary dialogue is never literal. People do not talk that way. There are often stops and starts and interruptions, like in real life. Natural dialogue: “It really depends on—” “—Forget Bill. He’s as useless as a flat Ping Pong ball.”

EXERCISE: Go to a coffee shop/restaurant/laundromat. Any public place. First, listen to a conversation happening behind you. Take notes: write down the dialogue and how it stops and starts. Then write down what you think the people talking look like. Turn around and see if you’re right.

2. Make up an original title. My professor, Edgar Rosenberg, at Cornell University always said that giving a story or a novel a title with a name can border on lazy. Unless, of course, it’s an original name. Of course, this rule is broken constantly: Romeo & Juliet, Eleanor & Park, Harry Potter, Olive Kitredge, etc. But unless you have characters’ names that say something, try to find another title.

EXERCISE: Pull out from your manuscript an idea or a phrase and see if you can make a title. I talk about how the title of my novel, A Remarkable Kindness, evolved from The Dead Can Never Thank You here.

3. Break up sentences. Yes. We learned in school that you need a noun + a verb to make a sentence. But, ahh, when you write, you can have super-long sentences as well as one or two word sentences. The first ungrammatical sentence in my novel occurs on the first page: “The odd, raw stillness.” And I have long run-on sentences as well to convey a different idea; it’s a way to get time to speed up and cram in a lot of information and leave the reader breathless and not able to take a pause—sort of like that.

EXERCISE: Write a 250-word flash fiction story mixing up lengths of sentences. Start in the middle of a conversation, and go on.

4. Start your novel at turning point. You need to try to squeeze in enough action by page 50 to keep the reader turning the pages. Also, if you’re looking for a literary agent, many ask to read the first 50 pages. Remember, we can live and write our best chapter!

EXERCISE: Write a story or chapter that begins with one character giving another a bombshell. Here’s an easy example: “I know I told you I’d marry you, but…”

When people tell me, “And to make a long story short…” I’m already thinking, “Yes, please make it short…” Nobody wants to hear or read a long story. Make it shorter.

EXERCISE: Take your story and then use the Stephen King rule: First Draft – Ten Percent= Second Draft. Cut, cut, cut. It isn’t a circumcision so you don’t have to be that careful. (More Stephen King tips here.)

5. Stick to conventions. A table has four legs. That’s standard. My suggestion is follow standard formats for novels and stories until you get the hang of telling a story.

EXERCISE: Write down a story you like to tell people from your childhood. Just write it as you’d say it.

6. Describe someone using two descriptions that are not usual. “He has blue eyes and curly, blond hair.” Ehhh. We can do better than that. “He has narrow eyes and soft, pudgy hands. Doesn’t that sound more interesting? To me, it does.

7. Finally, don’t keep your eyes on the prize. The prize is the actual writing. If we’re dreaming of writing because we think it will be fun to sign books, be on a talk show, or get invited to the Academy Awards, that’s not why we write. We write to tell a story. It’s hard work. It means sitting and doing the work. And then doing it again. And again. 

8. Don’t give up! Treat yourself as a professional. Treat your work with firm kindness. Listen to the voice that wants to write. Do not listen to the people who say you cannot do it. Listen to me. I say that you can do it if you keep writing.

Now for the good news…A REMARKABLE KINDNESS will be one of the featured books at Hudson News Book Stores, those fabulous stores at airports around the USA and Canada this fall.

Early wonderful reviews are coming in. See goodreads for some wonderful reader reviews. If you haven’t pre-ordered A Remarkable Kindness, you can do so here.

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Tool For Tuesday: How To Make Decisions

Maya Angelou on making decisions.

Maya Angelou on making decisions.

In 2010, I wrote a blog about making decisions when one of my daughters was trying to figure out what to do with her life. (We all seem to ponder that question rather frequently.) I suggested that act like a cave-woman. Gather information the way that cave-dwellers gathered berries. Be a forager. Research. Ask questions. Take notes like a reporter. Then wait.

But here is more to think about. When it comes to making decisions, are you a presto or a procrastinator? Do you make immediate, instant decisions, or are you afraid your decisions won’t be perfect so you procrastinate?

I confess I’m a presto decision-maker. I err on the side of making an instant decision and then rue about it. I know I need to s-l-o-o-o-w way down. I’ve learned it’s best not to make decisions in the midst of a crisis and to wait. (I’m never good with that.)

People who procrastinate about decisions often enter into paralysis. Not good, either. There are few decisions that are life-threatening. Sometimes, we’re so busy thinking, “Should I move to Alaska? Should I marry Oscar Shlumperdink? Should I have a child?” For those huge life-changing decisions, we always get our answers when the time is right. We don’t have to force the issue. We can just keep living as best as we can today and the answer comes to us really naturally. Intuitively.

It’s more important how we make a decision than what decision we make. Here are six things we can do before making decisions.

Check our motives. Are they for our highest good?

Ask questions.

Gather information.

Write down the pro’s and con’s.

Speak to a trusted friend.

Pray. Then sleep on it. If the answer did not come to you clearly, then you might want to wait a day or two. If you are still waffling, wavering and wondering, then act like the hero of your own life. Do something. Sometimes we need to act less like our usual selves to become more ourselves. Positive acts build self-esteem.

And then, make the decision and then let go of the outcome. We are only responsible for the effort. We can only do the best we can do at the time.

Tool For Tuesday: Make a decision and then trust that the universe will support your dreams. Expect a miracle.

Here is a great blog post on decisions and making the right choice.

And, as always, this is from Malcolm Gladwell.gladwell quote


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